Quotes about Miscarriage

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance month.  On Labor Day weekend 2 years ago, I lost my first baby to miscarriage. It was something I always dreaded, something I knew was statistically bound to happen sooner or later. And knowing that it might or would eventually happen did not make it any easier. It was terrible.

A month ago John and I put aside a few hours and went through all of the piles of paperwork around our house.  Birthday cards for each child put in their memory boxes, cute artwork either saved or 'filed' away, and all meaningful correspondence organized by year.  2016 was a wreck to organize. It didn't hit me until we were almost done why that year was so hard to organize. That was the most difficult year of my life to date, because of the miscarriage.  Here we are, two years later, just getting our lives somewhat organized.

Today I picked up a book while nursing Allegra, and I just happened to start reading about what women have to say about miscarriage. The format of the book is set up so many women answer the same questions. I started flipping through and reading what each woman had to say about their miscarriages.  The book is called "Three Decades of Fertility" and I am going to share some of these from the heart quotes with you.


"I've learned over the years, and through five losses so far, that God doesn't give me grace to face tomorrow's trials, but He abundantly pours out His comfort, strength, and peace in the middle of today's trials...I will also have had the privilege of being part of the creation of an eternal soul. I will choose to "look not to the things that are seen but to the things which are unseen." 2 Corinthians 4:18"

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"When I lose a baby or contemplate losing a baby, I view it the way God does - as a surrendering of that life back to Him. He gives and He takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord, regardless of our feeling in that matter."

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"I do know that when we began to trust in God's sovereignty over the womb, we knew it had to go both ways.  If we were going to trust Him to provide for us as He gave us children, we also needed to learn to trust Him with the children He chose to withhold or take home."  

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"If God gave me a child who grew to be 90 years old, then praise the Lord! But, as a servant of the Lord, if He ordained for me to only hold my child in the womb for a few weeks or months, and never in my arms, then I wanted to praise Him for that opportunity too, as excruciating as the loss may be! "Let it be to me according to your word." Luke 1:38"

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"The Bible says that "to live is Christ and to die is gain." Philippians 1:21 Although I grieve, I always rejoice in the hope that my miscarried children are experiencing gain. Even through tears, I am grateful that the Lord used my womb to bring forth precious souls for Christ."

OOO

"I just lost a baby a few months ago. Our children knew that the baby's life was in danger, yet they prayed for many days with great faith and hope that our baby would live. And God's answer was, "No." We have a family worship time most nights, and it was during one of those family times that we broke the news that we had lost the baby. We cried. I want my children to see my tears as they testify to the value of our precious baby. When a loved one dies, we cry.  We also prayed. As we walk together through seasons of grief, trusting our loving Lord, we model true faith for our children.  "Though he slay me, I will hope in him." Job 13:15 Even when our hearts are breaking, we love and trust our Heavenly Father."

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"I have thought a lot about fear. After losing Johanna I experienced a lot of fear. Fear that tried to take over in every pregnancy after her loss. God has taught me that fear is not of Him.  There are so many Bible passages that tell us not to fear but to trust God. Another form of fear is worry - something else that God tells us we are not to do. When facing fears, I try to remind myself to think of what is true, especially what is true about God and His love for me. I remind myself that God promises to give strength to the weak, comfort to those who mourn, and that we are held in His hand. I remind myself that He does all things well, and He never makes a mistake. He orchestrates all things in my life for my good and His glory."

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"Miscarriages are unpleasant and a bit scary.  One of my miscarriages was worse than the others, resulting in excessive bleeding. The next two were not severe, but I still had the depression that comes from hormonal adjustment and loss. The pain of laboring and knowing there would be no more pregnancy and baby at the end was discouraging. Yet, I knew that God was in control, and if He desired another child in our home, I was certainly ready!" 

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Each child conceived is a living, eternal soul whose days were ordained by God. Whether your child lives for 60 days within the womb, lives for a few hours outside the womb, or is blessed with 100 years on this planet, his days were determined. Job 14:5 sates, "Since his days are determined, and this number of his months is with you, and you have appointed his limits that he cannot pass." The Psalmist says, "Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them." Psalm 139:16  You will not have any more children than what the Lord has ordained. A friend once told me that your quiver is full with the last child you have . Right now our quiver is full, unless God gives us another baby. With each conception you are promoting life and learning to live by faith in the One True, Living God."

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"We are very honest with our children. As much as I would like to keep my children form the pain of death, it is a part of our journey here on earth.  God uses the loss of a loved one, even a baby that you have only begun to be excited about, as a way to sanctify us. We talk about God's sovereign plan for each of our lives and how we do not know the days God has ordained for us. We talk about how the days of the little one that we are laying in the ground were precious and how that child has forever changed our lives even though they are no longer with us. I am very happy to introduce myself as a mother of eight even though one of my children is gone. I think this is important for the children as well. We do not sweet the miscarriage under the rug or tiptoe around the subject but address it head on."

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"During my most recent pregnancies I learned to praise the Lord for the lives growing within me, whether that was for a few weeks or full term. I felt such excitement each time the Lord allowed us to conceive in our 40s. I wanted to treasure every moment of having life within me. I had experienced having that life taken away and decided to celebrate each day I was pregnant...when I miscarried for the first time, I was grieved that we would not get to raise the twins that had begun growing within me. I was sad that my other children would never know those siblings this side of heaven.  Yet, the Lord is gracious. He gently showed me that He had a good plan for my life, even in miscarriage....I know the Lord doesn't make mistakes. He is the One who causes babies to grow inside the womb, and He takes them when He knows it is best. It has been a hard and good lesson to learn. Our children here on earth and the children we have in Heaven are all gifts from the Lord, whether I have seen them yet or not. I praise Him for each one."

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"We want all of our children to understand that God is in control, and He knows what we can handle and when. Talking about the great possibility of meeting our babies in Heaven has helped us all to find comfort in the loss, knowing that we have children/brothers/sisters waiting with Jesus for us in heaven."

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"I mention in my story that I had nine miscarriages, most of them occurring around 12 weeks. We never did find out why. I think it might have had to do with hormone levels....I want to share this with other women as encouragement because a miscarriage can be such a traumatic event, especially if you have never delivered a healthy child. They can makes us think that something is wrong with us.  Yet, as my doctor often said, miscarriages are normal for some women, and we often won't know why.  My husband never really seemed to grieve a miscarriage. I did. To a mother, the baby is ripped out of her womb, and it doesn't matter how you paint it, it is traumatic. From the moment you know you are harboring another little person in your womb, your life unconsciously revolves around them. It's frightening, awesome, and exhilarating, all at the same time....Sometimes I sit in my nursery and look at the newborn baby pictures of our live children and wonder about the other ones who went to heaven.  I know God had a purpose for their lives, and I wonder if I will know them in the new heaven and the new earth."